Sound strangely familiar?

 

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I will be MIA for a while. But, please keep me updated by email.
I need some time away from the board to sort things out. Life is so chaotic. We won our battle to start #2 and we have birthdays, mine and Christopher's. Furniture being delivered, second surgery (right hand), 75th Bday-Thanksgiving Party for my MIL, Christmas, Baseball - I am a hugely conflicted Yankees/Astros Fan, and of course, there is Army-Navy and the next few months are total chaos - FUN, but chaotic. It is actually a very exciting time for us.

Anyway - I hope this post will be allowed. I really owe the members of this board an apology. I hope you will take me seriously when I say that I am an honest caring person.... and sometimes I think people really NEED my advice, when they don't.... or they really WANT what I perceive as the truth when they ask my advice.

It was never and has never been my intention to be perceived as rude or argumentative, but when I read back through posts, it is easy to see that I can be perceived that way. And, since none of you really knows me personally you can't see that my intentions have always been good.

I like a good spar now and then. I just never meant for things to get so out of hand. I have been depressed and enlightened by this board. I have been impressed by courage and events. I have been confused and saddened as well.

The mods and apparently quite a few members think that I am negative. And, since I never meant to be that, I need to take a break. It is no reflection on you. It is a reflection on myself.

I would encourage any of you who care to to email me. If you have a beef with me, I am happy to discuss it with you, so that when I do come back, and I hope to soon... I can be a more positive part of the board.... because that is what I want to be.

Take care and kiss all those babies for me.
mE

Oh, where do I begin?

First of all, it takes a test to determine IQ.  You, your neighbor (conveniently a child psychologist) or your ENT cannot determine this by looking at your 2 year old.  I'm willing to bet that they said something along the lines of what my doctors have told me about my boys.  "Wow, he's so smart!"

For clarification purposes, smart does not equal genius, and a comment such as that does not mean he has an IQ that is above average.  Also, people really don't like it when you brag about how smart your child is, how high is IQ is.  How do you think that makes people feel if their child's development is a little slow for their age?  I find that to be very rude and inconsiderate.

Okay, next point.  You recently stated that you did not need online friends and you wanted to spend time away from the board.  Yet you are there.  Everyday.  The minute someone responds to your post or asks you a question, you are there.  Everyday.  Don't constantly say, "I'm leaving the board", "I'm not going to be here [much]" and then turn around and keep posting.  You lose a bit of credibility that way.  Also, if you don't need online friends, why did you sign up with meetup.com??  By the way, many people know you're just on another messageboard, so you can stop the charade.

The sandbox.  Do you make it a habit of buying things after your husband has told you not to?  Again, disrespectful.

The daycare at the gym.  I remember very clearly that not too long ago you were very against using daycares at the gym.  You didn't know "who" was watching your kids and couldn't trust them, and how unregulated they are.   Congratulations on your weight loss.

 Just keep it real.  You don't have to put on a fake face for people to like you.  Don't try to boast about what you have (or don't have.)  People don't like braggers.  People also don't like people who pretend to be their friend and stab them in the back.  Don't try to be better than anyone else, people really don't like that.  You've offended so many people by this, especially with your latest tank top escapade, and you never bother to apologize.

You want people to think you've changed, but you haven't.  You still get under people's skin, put in your little digs and write "...lol" after every offensive thing like that's supposed to make everything.

"You can wear tank tops, if that's your thing.  It's not mine, I think they are white trash, but GOOD for you...lol"

Newsflash-  that "...lol" does not make everything better.

You look like an idiot saying you're not posting anymore and then make 20 posts in one day.  If you're leaving the board, then do it.  Many people will be happy.  Just stop all the BS.

 

Well, I’m 16 weeks pregnant! I’m already so paranoid (after saying in my last entry that I wasn’t.) I’ve called my doctor a few times and even went in the other day for some pain, to find out it’s only ligaments. I guess better safe than sorry though! I see my OB next week for my checkup and quad screen.

The boys are doing great. Nick can stand on his own for a few seconds, and just today, Aaron sat up all on his own! My sister kept them overnight Saturday so Mike & I could go out for our anniversary. We ate dinner at Alongi’s and then saw a movie (The Ring 2.) The next morning, we slept in until 7:30 am!

Recently, there’s been a huge buzz around the ttc, pregnancy & pregnancy and infant loss community. Some sick person decided she needed attention, and lied about having a baby, then the baby dying 2 hours later. It was a huge explosion that’s had a very negative effect in the “community.” They are calling it Munchausen by Internet, making up a fake baby and making up things bad about it. As someone who has been there, I don’t see how anyone could possibly do this, especially since she claims she’s had 4 miscarriages and a stillbirth.

So this leads me to the following thought: What if people think I’m lying? I talked to my mom about it and she didn’t think people would think that. After all, I have proof of everything. I have proof my daughter died, that I got pregnant with twins, I had a very complicated pregnancy and numerous hospital stays. Heck, I have the $8000 bill for the helicopter ride! If you are reading this and think you need proof, just ask. I’ll be happy to share it. I don’t want people to think I made all this up, it really did happen to me.

I’m putting up with a cold… trying to fight it really, but there’s only so much I can do for it. OJ, rest (ha!) and sudafed seem to be the 3 musketeers of wellness for me at the moment.

As I’m battling this cold, I am also sitting here, my nerves as racked as they can possibly be. I’m in total shock, as I peed on a stick the other day and found this:

 

 

Didn’t I tell you, shocked? Holy cow! This is so unexpected. The boys just turned 6 months old. I figure I’m roughly 6 weeks, though I am not for sure. Hopefully I’ll have an ultrasound soon to not only confirm ONE baby, but a due date as well. My first appointment is February 8. I’ll talk to a nurse then and get bloodwork. Hopefully they’ll schedule an u/s then too.

In my last journal entry, my last statement said:

Quote:

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Today I am thankful for my true friends. They have let me cry on their shoulder, laughed with me, and carried my burdens when they didn’t have to. I love you guys!

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I wish I had known just how wrong this could turn. In the past two weeks, I have discovered who my true friends are, and who never really cared to begin with. I was hurt by some people who I thought I could lean on. These people have called me a liar, selfish and many other horrible things. I will say this, I have absolutely no reason to lie. Why would I? As if I haven’t taken enough in my life that I’d have to make things up too. I wish I had made all this up. I wish my daughter hadn’t died. I wish my pregnancy with the boys was not so hard. I wish that I didn’t worry about their mortality every minute of every day. Life has dealt me a pretty bad hand and I’m just doing the best I can to cope with it. Give me a break!! This is exactly why I hate sharing my personal issues with others, because I get put down for it. So if I don’t tell you what’s wrong, don’t get mad at me for it. I don’t do it because I don’t need to be mocked. These people should be ashamed of themselves for telling me that they would stand by me, and then kicking me while I was down.

I do thank my friends who have stuck by me. You have no idea how much your friendship means to me. No, I do not ask for anything in return. I’m not a person who has to get something back in order to give it. If I were, then why do I do so much charity work? Why have I dedicated so much time and money into helping other people?

In closing, I am thankful for my husband. I know I’m a big pain in his you-know-what, but he still loves me and puts up with me.

Ahhh Sunday. A couple times a month, this is “my day.” The day I get to go with my mom & my aunt, to go scrapbooking. We go to a local scrapbook store. I find a lot of relaxation in it. I don’t have to worry about who’s turn it is to eat, why someone’s crying, or where that stink is coming from. I don’t have to do the laundry, wash the dishes, vaccum the floor. This is my ME time, which I thoroughly enjoy! It’s only a few hours, but it gives me the much needed break that I totally deserve. Ahhhh! I got 3 pages done today. I scrapped the boys’ first meals, and an old photo of my Grandma, when she was 3. It’s a beautiful photo, dating back to 1935. After we scrap, we usually go out to eat. It’s so nice to have some adult time!

A week or so ago, I accidently posted on the board which should not be named. It was quite innocent, and when I realized I did it, there was no “delete” button to retract it. So then I waited for the axe to fall. It did today. My post was friendly, and I received responses to it, which, being the kind person I am, I felt obligated in responding to. So I was banned. Yet again. Oh joy. The board which should not be named banned me well over a year ago. They banned me for *gasp* posting a photo of my daughter under a thread which clearly stated, “Post photos here.” A bit of a double standard don’t you think? I was told my ban would be lifted in a couple months. It never was, even after I requested it be revoked.Later, the board which should not be named accused me of somehow accessing their “secret board” and displaying the information for others to see. How is this possible if I were banned? I’m not one to gossip. These people have held on to a grudge for so long. It should make me proud that they still devote so much time to ensuring that I do not have access to the board of which they hold dictatorship.Wisdom comes with experience. In the past two years, I have had two very difficult pregnancies, three children, buried one child, spent months in the hospital, had twin boys and 4 surgeries. Yet, I have nothing useful to contribute, I’m sure that is their reasoning. I’m scum, hideous, and so incredibly evil. If you are reading this and you don’t think so, let it be known! There are people who actually think this. How sad.Anyway, on to happier news. Nick is finally getting the hang of his jumparoo! It’s about time. A $60 toy, and he better start liking it! LOL! We bought 2 puppets for the boys yesterday and they LOVE them. One is a white tiger and the other, a puppy dog. They get such a kick out of them.

I bought a Magic Bullet yesterday to make the boys’ baby food. I can’t wait to try it!

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Today I am thankful for my true friends. They have let me cry on their shoulder, laughed with me, and carried my burdens when they didn’t have to. I love you guys!